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They want to know about truth AND lies…
“White lies are minor lies which could be considered to be harmless, or even beneficial, in the long-term. White lies are also considered to be used for greater good. A common version of a white lie is to tell only part of the truth, therefore not be suspected of lying, yet also conceal something else, to avoid awkward questions. White lies are also often used to shield someone from a hurtful or emotionally damaging truth, especially when not knowing the truth is completely harmless.” ~ From Wikipedia
I would like to know how you explain the “little white lie” to your kids. I don’t mean the definition per se, rather a simple explanation of their appropriateness. My daughter, who is a wild, curious, 6-year-old, has been asking a lot of questions lately, and I don’t seem to be supplying the proper answer.
For example, last night, we were watching “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” together as a family. She has never seen this flick, but it has been a favorite in my family for many years. It is goofy, dated, and wonderful! Aside from the other questions that constantly arose (was watching this movie with a young child a good idea? Yep!) like “Why is Clark such a bad driver?” she wanted to know about the lies. When the mom of the family was smoking in the kitchen and her own mom yells from another room “are you smoking?” and she answers “oh, no mom!”, there was one lie. There were other instances, but the big one came when Clark was flirting with the sexy sales clerk and when the woman asked him if he was married, he fumbled around and exclaimed that she was “dead… no! we’re divorced!”.
Oh my goodness, the questions about why he lied were deep and constant. How do you explain adult flirtation mixed with lies? Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to share this movie, but I still stand behind my own family traditions!
My kiddo, like most kids, is filled with questions, and she has a particularly deep sense of justice. Can she lie to her mom and dad if it’s only a little one? Why is it okay to lie sometimes and not others? And, if it is okay to tell a little lie to someone when they ask if their shirt looks nice, why wouldn’t we just tell them that it looks horrible so that they can get a new one? Why isn’t the truth constant?
When we explained that sometimes little white lies are told by people to spare feelings on something minor like clothing, or to keep the peace between we human beings, she has trouble with that. Aren’t we supposed to be okay if we disagree? Isn’t it better to only tell the truth?
I would love to hear how YOU talk about lies and truth in your household! Kids, or not, it is a good topic.
As the holiday season is all around us, a time of giving, sharing and family, it is a sweet time to be close to our kids and loved ones. Have a great season!
And…. you do look TERRIFIC in those pants… I SWEAR!!!
Cheers! Karen
